[X] Ears
[X] Tail
[X] Batteries for remote+vibrator
[X] Find a club ready for Halloween
[X] Boyfriend completely oblivious (easiest one of all, and I already had the tail)
[ ] Make sure tail can stay in while dancing (...guess I'll just wing this one)

So all that's left is to spring the surprise on Ryou tomorrow night! Don't tell him anything. Not that he ever talks to anyone.

Also! Change of address; I'm not living on campus anymore, but I'm still working on hauling the last of my stuff over to Ryou's apartment. If you really wanna know where it is, just ask and I'll send you the address.

So. That's what it is. That's what it all is. That's why...

Heh. Fuck. That's not fair.

I can't... I'll never be able to fix this.

Fuck. I'm not going to be anywhere today. So if anyone wants to see me, tough shit.

I think I'm gonna be sick...

(ooc: strikes deleted)

I'm not sure whether to count that as an unexpected phone call or not. It was gonna happen eventually. Apparently my sister's knocked up and just got around to telling everyone. Seeing as she's almost three months along, I guess she's keeping the kid but... >.> I dunno, I've never even heard of the father. Chances are it's not actually who she thinks it is anyway. Whatever, if she wants to go off and not even marry the guy, that's her deal. But if she even fucking thinks about making Mom take care of her kid for her...

I threatened her, too. If she's going to have a kid she better damn well take care of it herself, or make her boyfriend do it. She's thinking of moving in with him in a couple months anyway.

Heh, I don't envy her when our father found out though. Bet he's real happy to have two fuck-ups for children now. But whatever, he can go fuck off if he doesn't like it, as long as he pays mom for it, the fucking bastard. >.>

So yeah, assuming she doesn't fuck up the baby with alcohol and shit, I'm going to be an uncle in six-ish months. I wouldn't be surprised if I never see it, though.

Thank god I'll never have to worry about that kind of thing.

This weekend was amazing... Had the big fireworks show and it came out perfect! Well okay, we had a few glitches and timing issues but it's not like anyone could tell >.>

But... they all came. Honestly I wasn't expecting my mom to make it. I thought my father wouldn't let her come to see, but she took my little brother with her and ended up telling him they were going to do something else, maybe Disneyland or something. Either way, they both came to watch.

And they watched it with Ryou. I'm glad they got to meet. I couldn't take him home, but that worked, and he got to see the best of my family. Except for my idiot brother who kept speaking when he shouldn't. He was lying about half the stories, he was too young then to remember!

Ryou's new apartment... is fucking awesome. I don't think I've ever appreciated having a place to go back to so much. No more kicking out roommates, no more hotel rooms and arranging schedules, no more having to wake up early before roommates get back, no more walking half-naked all the way back to the campus from work in the middle of the night...

Only now I can't take advantage of it. I almost regret having an intern thing right now, but then all the experience and pay and getting to be part of a huge show is worth it. I'm still in Chiba for another week, but Saturday is the fireworks show!

I spent some of last week with Ryou and his family for his brother's wedding. Everyone was busy so I stayed out of the way mostly, but... it was kinda nice anyway. Made me miss home. His mom was really nice, and shared the most interesting stories~ ;D

Tuesday was also our sixth month anniversary. I'm not sure whether to be surprised we've been together so long already, or still wonder why it took us so long. But either way it doesn't matter, because even if we still have rough spots we're together now and staying that way.

Been spending way too much time in Chiba lately. I mean, at least it's useful, applicable, and pays, but it's weird being away from school now that... well, this is home. But anyways, there are tons of interns and assistants there, and it's a lot of busy work; making stars, wrapping the fireworks, that sort of thing. It's nice not having to work it all out myself, though, and just watch the people who really know what they're doing. I've learned tons of new techniques that make making fireworks so much easier. Wow, have I been doing it wrong.

I'll be gone again this weekend. The big show is in August, so we don't have a lot of time, but it's going to be plenty. And the show? Is going to be fucking awesome! This is a huge one, so if anyone has time, they should come see it!

( private )

Hiyo-baby, Aka-chan... somebody... help? I need to... get out of here.

( screened to Hiyo and Akaya )

Heh. Nice Aka-chan~ ;D Though next time if you wanna play exhibitionist with Hiyo-baby, do it where more people can see. Not sure how much of a birds eye view I wanted, but I was up on the roofs looking over the fireworks launch site and working out if we could upgrade it.

And Hiyo-baby, I'm jealous~ You've been at this what, a month, and already you've taken it to the courts? Am I going to have to start catching up?

Hey Ryou! We're going to have to do something awesome to beat them once you get that cast off. Have you joined the Mile High Club yet? ;D

Also, I'm pending approval for an internship. There were a couple close by, but I'm hoping it goes through for the one in Chiba. It's kind of a trip, but I did ask about stipends, Atobe, and they were willing to offer one. It's not a whole lot, but they'll pay for transportation and food costs while I'm there, too. They sounded optimistic, I think, so if all goes well I'll be spending a couple of weeks there in August, as well as a few weekends leading up to it. This means I'll have to change my work schedule to weekdays.

Wow... where does it all go? With that last housing payment went the rest of my savings. I guess this is what they mean living paycheck to paycheck. I'm doing okay, I think, but come next term I'm not sure how much I'll have saved up. Fuck, I need another job or... maybe a loan for tuition at least. Whatever, I'll work something out. Though I fail at this budgeting and application stuff... I don't even know where to start.

Anyways, instead of holding a summer fireworks show here, I'm trying to see if I can get in on a sort of internship thing for a bigger show somewhere done professionally. Might have to do some traveling ugh, fuck more money depending on what I can get. Oh well, it'll be worth it in the long run, right?

...I've still got no words to describe this past weekend.

Fucking finally. That earthquake knocked out my internet, did it happen to anyone else? I'm so glad this happened after the fireworks show, because having explosives set out when the ground is attacking itself is asking for trouble.

Everyone else okay? It broke my lava lamp, that's going to be ick to get out of the carpet, but that's about it. One of the dorms looks like it's got problems, though.

(ooc: The earthquake was supposed to be today yesterday, right??)

Children's Day fireworks tonight! Held right next to campus where the Valentines Day show was, so no need for you guys to go hiking off somewhere. You can even watch from your windows if you're lucky! Anyways, this show is gonna be awesome. My first show with Kowari-mono, so we'll see how they turn out! Less pinks and reds this time, though I'm using the same theory for other colors; look out for the kakeboshi. I only did blues to greens since it took a while to get those done, but... well I'll guess we'll all see how it turns out! Should be great!

Hiyo-baby, yeah I'll talk about the weekend with you sometime, though there's not a lot to say. It was fine, though a little weird, but I expected that.

And hey, Jirou, you're here! Just in time for your birthday, huh? Freeloading on the birthday greetings. You know we sent you a cake and everything, and now they're gonna have to send it back here!

Been having funny dreams that I can't seem to remember much of. Is there anything significant about blue vodka and djinni? Escaping from hangovers through wishes...? I haven't even been drinking lately; too busy with work to visit Ryou at work, and I can't drink while on a job. I may have good balance but I don't want to be tipsy while dancing on a platform in heels, thanks. I miss the simple dreams where I was just flying.

Anyways, not much longer at all until Children's Day. You guys be ready for fireworks again! The next show after probably won't be until July or August, I'm hoping to participate in some of the summer festivals nearby if I can get good recommendations because of this show and last Valentine's day's show. These'll be cooler 'cause I didn't restrict myself to reds and pinks and whites. Got a few starmines that hopefully will turn out awesome.

Where's Jirou these days? Children's Day is his birthday. He always had fun parties, until he fell asleep at the end. Never have a sleepover with Jirou unless you plan to actually sleep. Hyoutei people, you guys wanna send him a card or something? I'll get it and you guys can sign it? Marui, too, he liked you. Maybe Atobe can send him flowers or something.

( Screened to Hiyo-baby, Aka-chan, and Niou )

For those of you who didn't know (probably almost everyone >.>) I got a job as a dancer(no, not a stripper. Probably wouldn't be too bad of a job, though) at this new club in town. It's the one between the smoke shop and the gas station; bright neon lights, you can't miss it. That's why I was looking for clubwear.

I gave up on trying to find a place nearby with the right kind of clothing (actually, I did find a couple pairs of hot pants that were nice and actually fit) so I ended up ordering online. I was going to just get this pair of ( boots! )

And to be nice to Hiyo-baby, who has a sensitive mind, I'll leave out the pictures of the bootie shorts I ordered. ;D But now I've got a variety of colors and styles so I'm good to go! With four nights a week there's not much you can do with just two pairs of black shorts(even if one pair has these cool buckles on the sides) and a pair of black lace-up boots. Except maybe throw in a fishnet shirt but even then all I have is black and light blue, and I can't wear any tops when I'm on the pole for the night. You need a lot of skin contact.

So if anyone's still around during the break, you can come by and watch me! ;D I work Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays so far, from 11:40PM to 1:00AM. $75 a night. I love my job. I never expected to say that EVER.

Got a package from home my mom today. Just a bunch of crap she found of mine at the house, since I won't be going back to get it myself. Okay, so not all of it was crap. That feather necklace I used to wear all the time in middle school, the shoebox full of my feather collection, hoodies that I wore so much that they've got holes in them, that sort of thing. I'm not going to tell you what the note she sent with it said. It was just a lot of sentimental shit. Thanks Mom. I love you, too.

Anyways, I need to go shopping. Anyone know if shops around here carry clubwear? I know there's that one next to the pool place, but their stuff isn't daring enough and too... fluffy. and way overpriced D:

(ooc: strikes deleted!)

Ryou... there's something we have to talk about. I wish I could say don't worry, it's not important, but it is. For me. I know I should have told you before, but... well, I haven't told anyone.

So... if we can't talk until after this weekend, don't blame me because I tried, okay? I don't want to hide this from you.

Private to myself

So. I've got the job, if I want it. And I do want it. I want it so fucking badly. It's a good job, it's so easy. Starting at 7500 yen an hour. STARTING. That means if I do good I can make more. Okay, and so it's only four hours a week, but that's still 30000 a week! For DANCING. I dance for fun, and now I can get paid a ton for just an hour a night? Fuck yes!

But... there's a problem. Ryou. I can't go behind Ryou's back and do this. I shouldn't care, it's not like he has any say in my life, but I know he wouldn't like the thought of me dancing in almost nothing in front of tons of people. I don't know if he'd see it as cheating, but if he does then there's no fucking way I'm doing that to him. I know how much that hurts.

I have the answer. I've known the answer but I didn't like it, so I tried to find other ways. I... don't think there's any getting around it though. I have to tell him. And then I have to tell him why I need the job. That my family disowned me. I haven't told anyone, and somehow it feels like he's the hardest one to tell. Think I figured out how that tarot card thing of Sengoku's works, though. It's like fortune cookies. They tell you what you already know, but they make you face it.

I've got until next weekend. After next weekend they give the job to someone else. Somehow I think it was a lot of luck that they even let me have a week to think about it. Sure I'm good, in fact I'm fucking fantastic at dancing like that, but it's a cutthroat kind of job. So... sometime...soon, I have to talk to Ryou.

I'm back. But... I'm not in the fucking mood for anything, so don't bother. If anyone hears explosions, don't worry.

( Private )